🏈 THE DEFINITIVE SAINTS SUCK TIMELINE 🏈
A Complete Historical Record of Pain, Paper Bags, Broken Hopes & Wildly Unnecessary Stress
1967 — Birth of the New Orleans Saints
The franchise is born.
Expectations: Hope, excitement, pride.
Reality: A slow-motion car crash wearing gold & black.
Fun fact: The Saints scored a touchdown on their first-ever play from scrimmage. This was cruel, because it tricked fans into believing things like that would ever happen again.
Late 1960s–1970s — The Early “What Are We Even Doing?” Years
The team quickly establishes its identity:
- Losing
- Creative losing
- Losing so hard it becomes performance art
- Inspiring the first generation of bag-headed fans
- Becoming the NFL's unofficial charity case
Saints football becomes less a sport and more a warning about unchecked optimism.
1980 — The 1–15 Masterpiece
A season so bad, it deserves its own chapter in a museum.
Highlights:
- Record: 1–15, a piece of art unto itself
- Fans start wearing paper bags over their heads, inventing the iconic “Aints” look
- The Saints blow a 35–7 halftime lead to Joe Montana’s 49ers and lose 38–35
- This collapse becomes the largest regular-season comeback in NFL history at the time
This was the season that made grown men sigh before kickoff.
1982 — First Winning Season… Sort Of
The Saints finally post a winning season....
....except the season is shortened by a players’ strike, so nobody can even enjoy it without an asterisk the size of Louisiana.
1987 — First Playoff Appearance
The Saints make the playoffs!
Confidence grows!
Fans start to believe!
Final score: Vikings 44, Saints 10.
Hope dies in the first quarter.
Kids learn new swear words from their parents.
1990s — Dome Patrol & Eternal Letdown
The Saints actually have one of the greatest linebacker groups of all time (Dome Patrol).
Naturally, this results in:
- Zero NFC Championship appearances
- Zero Super Bowl appearances
- Zero reason for fans to uncurl from the fetal position
Talent wasted. Hopes smashed. Tradition continues.
1991–1992 — The “Great… But Still Losing” Era
The Saints achieve real success:
- 1991: 11–5
- 1992: 12–4 (best record in franchise history at that point)
What do they do with this momentum?
They lose both years in the Wild Card round.
Of course.
2000 — First Playoff Win
The Saints win their first playoff game EVER…
…against the defending champion Rams…
Then immediately get blown out by the Vikings the next week, restoring normalcy.
2005 — The Katrina Season from Hell
This year didn’t just suck — it was apocalyptic.
- Saints lose “home” stadium (the Superdome)
- Play “home games” in San Antonio, Baton Rouge, and basically the Moon
- Final record? 3–13
- Jim Haslett fired
- Team resembles a traveling circus but with less coordination
Even by Saints standards, this one hurt.
2006–2009 — The Brees Blessing Arrives
Sean Payton + Drew Brees show up like NFL Mary Poppins.
The franchise becomes competitive.
The paper bag industry takes a hit.
2009 — The Miracle Super Bowl
Saints win Super Bowl XLIV.
A brief, beautiful break in the timeline of suffering.
Even the bag-heads smile.
Take a screenshot — this happiness won’t last.
2011 — The “We Should Have Won the Super Bowl” Season
One of the best Saints teams ever assembled.
Aaron Rodgers has nightmares about their offense.
Outcome: They lose a thriller to the 49ers after the defense forgets how tackling works.
This loss is still studied in Louisiana therapy offices.
2012 — Bountygate & The Peyton Payton Vacation
The NFL suspends Sean Payton for the season.
The Saints respond by fielding the worst defense in NFL history (yards allowed).
Opposing quarterbacks set career highs just by showing up.
2014–2016 — The 7–9 Trilogy
Three straight seasons of 7–9 mediocrity, demonstrating commitment to being consistently disappointing.
2017 — Minneapolis Miracle
The Saints make it to the Divisional Round.
A storybook ending awaits.
Instead, the defense allows a last-second, 61-yard touchdown where the safety forgets physics, geometry, and how arms work.
Saints fans consider switching to rugby.
2018 — The Robbery at the NFC Championship
The Saints are one play away from the Super Bowl.
The Rams commit a felony-level pass interference.
Refs swallow whistles, rulebooks, integrity, etc.
This becomes known simply as The No-Call.
Louisiana nearly secedes from the NFL.
2019 — The “Okay, Now You’re Just Messing With Us” Season
Another playoff year.
Another heartbreak.
Saints lose to the Vikings in overtime at home.
Again.
2020 — Brees’ Final Season Ends with a Thud
The Buccaneers shut the Saints down in the playoffs.
Brees retires.
Fans cry into their gumbo.
2021–Present — Post-Brees Freefall
Without Brees, the Saints offense becomes either:
- painful
- confusing
- missing
- all of the above
Notable lowlights:
- Dennis Allen era begins with the energy of a DMV waiting room
- The team cycles through quarterbacks like a clearance rack
- A series of losing seasons
- National media refers to the Saints as “rebuilding,” “transitioning,” and “Why are they like this?”
- 2024 & 2025 seasons described by journalists as their worst since the Katrina year
Paper bag sales quietly rise again.
2025 — The Second Coming of the Aints?
1–8 start
Offense in shambles
Fans experiencing 1980 déjà vu
Sportswriters warming up the phrase: “historically terrible”
The prophecy returns.
